I know it is weighing heavily on the minds of each and every TRO reader (in which case I mean, hi mom!) as to where we stand in the current battle for Tonight Show supremacy. So, we’d like to announce that we here at The Restraining Order would like to officially come out with our support for Tonight Show host Conan O’Brien in the 2010 Late Night host imbroglio.

While many comedies can claim to be the best, only one can be the worst. If you’ve seen it, you already know which I am referring to. If you haven’t, prepared to be unhappy.

Time to expose so many lies, folks.

Only one thing has struck fear into the hearts and minds of humans so effectively, so efficiently, and with such malice, that even death is preferable. In this case, we’re not actually talking about Richard Simmons. Instead, we present, a case for the end of Spiders.

There are a lot of liars in the world, did you know that? From the minute you wake up, to the second you go to sleep, in any given day you’re probably going to encounter at least someone or something lying to you. But, did you know that one of the biggest liars on Earth.. is VIDEOGAMES?

Reviewing games these days is about as much of an art form as crapping the bed after a long night of drinking. But see, I don’t drink, so that was a terrible review of game reviews. However, shitting the bed really isn’t something that is fun.

Today the Detroit Lions will call the name Matthew Stafford, Quarterback, Georgia and begin the yearly crap shoot known simply as the NFL Draft. Knowing the late history of Lions, this means that Mr. Stafford will have his throwing arm severed in an accident at a Ford assembly plant goodwill demonstration.

I remember the good ol’ days when banner ads just sent you to wholesome websites about candy and baby animals. Now, you’ll be lucky to not be blasted in the face with ads that brag about how much smarter celebrities are than you. I’ll never believe your lies, American Idol’s David Cook!

Gaming and videogames go hand in hand like a peanut butter and fruit-based sticky substance sandwich. Chances are, if you’re on this site, you like videogames even a little bit. You could, therefore, be an ardent anime fan. Are you aware of how joined at the hip the two mediums are? And as such, are you aware that you probably DO like anime and you don’t even know it?

I kind of understand finding whimsy in an old photo of your first house, however, what I can’t understand is telling the Internet about your secret desire to watch the clock and candle holder from Beauty and the Beast having sex.