Jon Gruden has signed on to coach for an NFL team next year along with an exclusive commitment to commentate on ESPN’s “Monday Night Football” broadcasts.

We have two sports centric videos for you today. First up is a video that I made around the time our current President took office and, I’m told, cured cancer.

The mise en scène of Prince Fielder hustling for a double set to Baltimora’s Tarzan Boy as Mark Loretta’s knee is shattering is about the highest form of art you will likely ever see. Some day, when we are all gone, lifeforms far more advanced than us will gather all they need to know about our lives and cultures from just this video.

Today the Detroit Lions will call the name Matthew Stafford, Quarterback, Georgia and begin the yearly crap shoot known simply as the NFL Draft. Knowing the late history of Lions, this means that Mr. Stafford will have his throwing arm severed in an accident at a Ford assembly plant goodwill demonstration.

I present to you, for the newly minted holiday season, a preenacted scene of John Madden’s reaction to hearing the news that someone was killed the day after Thanksgiving for the video game that bears his name:

I’d reckon that any of the four people that stumbled upon this post would not recognize just how great the early 90s Dallas Cowboys were. I mean, sure, to most, they’re considered the team of that decade.

Back during this previous Super Bowl, after watching all of the pomp and circumstance surrounding the event, I got to thinking about all of the traditions that have come to be synonymous with the Superest of all Bowls.

The greatest day known to man, Baseball Opening Day, is a mere four sleeps away. I know that means many of you, if not all, are anticipating and preparing for your Baseball Fantasy Draft this weekend.

Today I am here to talk about the most appalling of apparel, the most felonious of fashion, the worst wears of sports history.

The April NFL Draft is coming up and one hot button issue here in the Bay Area is which quarterback will the Niners select only to have him fail at that position and become a fourth string wide receiver…