Jon Gruden has signed on to coach for an NFL team next year along with an exclusive commitment to commentate on ESPN’s “Monday Night Football” broadcasts.

Let’s face it, as different as we all are as people, somehow the same 20 people always end up at every party I go to. TRO is here to examine, for your reading pleasure, five of these said individuals. In this case, it’s five of the people that are at the party to ruin your good time. Chances are, you’ll recognize them immediately.

There’s a lot of hilarious movies out there of which I’ve seen many. In fact, I’ve seen too many to show you all of them in the order in which I enjoyed them. Therefore, I’ve truncated my list of the 500 best comedy movies to only include a snippet of my favorite funny films.

Dating is tough and as such so is deciding what fashionable items one wants to cover their body with as to make a statement and also cover ones body for utilitarian reasons. So while burlap sacks might not be suitable in this meat-market of a dating scene, they might as well be.

Streamers, corn on the cob, sparklers, bunting, mashed potatoes, picnic tables, freedom, baseball, mom, and apple pie. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things isn’t actually real.

There are a lot of liars in the world, did you know that? From the minute you wake up, to the second you go to sleep, in any given day you’re probably going to encounter at least someone or something lying to you. But, did you know that one of the biggest liars on Earth.. is VIDEOGAMES?

Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. Cheese, cheese cheese, cheese? Cheese cheese–cheese!–cheese cheese cheese, cheese cheese cheese, cheese cheese. Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese!

Let’s face it, we Americans are full of shit. We love to tell our stories about how awesome we are and all, but really, we are just bunch a crazies Europe didn’t want anymore. Sure, we talk a big game now, what with our “freedom” and our “super power” and our “Inspirational country music”.

Reviewing games these days is about as much of an art form as crapping the bed after a long night of drinking. But see, I don’t drink, so that was a terrible review of game reviews. However, shitting the bed really isn’t something that is fun.

William thought he saw the fire down in the bay before anyone else did. He peered and shook his head in disbelief. This sort of thing should not happen. He knew, however, they marched, ever still. Not here, he thought. Not here in Boston. Not on the long road to Lexington, where so much of the unseasoned America was beginning to hope for newly minted freedoms to be released from their lobster-coated cages.