You will be missed, Mr. Skywalker…

I’m new and I hate these people. I hate you too. Why are you reading this?

Run out of money to feed your state inmates and have come to realize prison rape is and always will be an un-winnable war? Take a page from Georgia and kill two birds with one stone.

The War of 1812 wasn’t so much about the trade restrictions introduced by Britain to impede American trade with France, no, it was about the sweet ass of Dolley Madison.

You began traveling through another dimension. A dimension, not only of sight and sound, but of comedy. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone! The Movie!

I recently stumbled upon a spec script I wrote way back in the year 1999. It presupposes that my favorite things when I was 10 years old and when I was 15 years old were in fact one. Those things? The seminal cartoon Doug and the relentlessly great Law & Order.

Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. Cheese, cheese cheese, cheese? Cheese cheese–cheese!–cheese cheese cheese, cheese cheese cheese, cheese cheese. Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese!

What would happen I wonder if I stumbled upon some free Pokemon card sets…oh, I know. $$$ would happen, suckers!

No one is better at scamping than presumed dead Chip. In fact, he has regaled us with tales about scamping people and making mischief for a decade. Here is but one of his tales.

So I went to the neighborhood Vietnamese restaurant and I ordered a vermicelli noodle bowl to go…