Hi, I’m the newly hired guy.

All these people here are tools. Here’s some things that will upset them.

Fuck seattle, fuck grunge music, fuck everything about it.

SPOILER ALERT: This is better than Twilight.

Minnesota is an easy lay for Wisconsin, the whore states. Florida watches.

Rilo Kiley? Music for men who like dicks. More like Rilo OH MY GOD SHE’S GOT A PENIS.

I think we all know who likes this.

Man, I don’t get paid enough for this shit.